April Fool's Day & sickness

Dear Memoir,

I have fallen sick again. Recently, I feel so restless and weak. Weak, I say. Nothing that I do feels right. I feel so hopeless. That hopelessness gets worse when I am sick. I think about the unthinkable. I have no energy to do anything whatsoever. I do not like it at all. I feel so lonely. I feel so worthless.

Of course, my family is always there for me, and some very caring friends. I am happy. Although I am far apart from my family, they are always here with me. They are always there for me. Parents will always be there for us. My sisters make me laugh. They make me laugh from the bottom of my heart. They laugh at my strengths. They laugh at my weaknesses because everyone has them. They are honest to me.

Friends are so important because they make us who we are. They portray my personality and paint my surrounding. They affect me, and I to them. Some are just friends who hang a name tag saying: I'm his / her friend. That is alright. Some hang it but their actions show what true friends are. 

I had a dream just now. I think I was too weak because of the sickness that I wanted to see those who are close to me. The dream brought me back to my hometown, I guess, and I was with him. He brought me to eat and we spent time together. I saw friends. I saw my family. I missed them. It was so real that I really thought that I had gone back to those times, that he had come back. But when I was woken up by the stench from outside my room, reality hit me. That was reality. I feel so dizzy right now. I do not know where to head or go. I do not have that push anymore. I do not know what to do. Should I cook? Should I eat? 

It is April Fool's Day. It is a day where true words and reality do not make sense and are just any other lies or jokes that one can find. It is a day where there should be fun but no words are trusted. It is so sad because some people just do not trust you. It is sad because some people just do not take you seriously. It is sad. So sad.

This is my first time not making fun of people on April Fool's Day (since the day I knew what it is). I want to make people laugh and smile, really, but it just cannot happen today, I guess. I am sorry. 

Take care, everyone. Take care, my loved ones. Take care.

~Love & Peace~